October 27, 2010

Pumpkin Farmer Awakens to Field of Jack-O-Lanterns


A Puyallup, Washington pumpkin farmer today alerted police to a criminal mastermind that had infiltrated his pumpkin patch and carved every pumpkin in the field into a jack-o-lantern.

Avery Dilligens says when he went to bed last night, every pumpkin was "resting its sweet squashy self in the patch," but that when he awoke, the field "looked like it was full of maniacal heads, staring with their beady little triangular eyes."

Police say they have no suspects, but that most likely the perpetrator had recently been to China to see the Terra Cotta Soldiers. When asked why, police indicated that several of the pumpkins had been placed on salt dough statues made to look like the soldiers.

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