November 19, 2010

Congress Considers Taxing Santa Claus

As lawmakers struggle with whether to extend tax cuts, one proposal has the North Pole seeing red, and not just from Rudolph's nose. In a secret memo leaked to the press, Congress has for the first time raised the possibility of imposing tariffs on "imports" from Santa Claus, including any toys he produces for children in the United States.

"It is both a way to raise revenue and also a way to protect American jobs," explained a source, who wished to remain anonymous since discussions about the tax are still in their infancy. "Think about all the toys people don't buy because Santa Claus gives them a toy for free. It costs Americans their jobs and it is time for Mr. Claus to take responsibility for the hurt he is causing American families."

Holiday Tribune was unable to reach the North Pole for comment. Unofficial sources, however, said that plans are underway to implement a donation system and pledge drive if the tax is imposed. Preliminary ideas include putting pledge envelopes on stockings or requesting money be left out rather than cookies and milk.

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