Grandma Jessie, the well-known Grandma who lives over the river and through the woods, woke up Wednesday to a clear cut forest, after developers cut down the woods to make way for new luxury condominiums.
For years, the battle over rights to the woods had been fought in the courts, with Grandma Jessie claiming that the woods belonged to her by right and the developers claiming they had been sold the woods by a young woman in a red riding hood. Finally, last Thursday, the courts decided in favor of the developers.
"It's criminal, that's what it is," said Grandma Jessie, "Look at what they've done to the woods. And they drove all over the white and drifting snow. It's a muddy mess."
In related news, local tourist bureau officials have had to shut down their popular sleigh rides through the forest. They say that horses, confused by the lack of trees, no longer know the way to carry the sleigh to Grandmother's house. Additionally, mud and pollutants from the construction area have found their way into the river, choking off wildlife and creating an ecological disaster.