November 2, 2010

Sea Lions Running Polling Station: Zoos Suspect Voting Fraud

In a rare moment of agreement, animal rights activists and zoos across the country issued a call for an investigation into allegations of voter fraud at a polling station run by sea lions.

Halverson County in Alaska apparently ran out of human volunteers for their polling stations, and so they asked a local zoo to supply them with sea lions to "watch" the polling station. But things apparently got out of hand when a fisherman walked into the polling station with a bucket of fish at his side.

"Them sea lions done gone hog wild at the sight of them fish," said Douglas Fairbanks, the unlucky fisherman. "They come runnin' at me and started barking like there was no tomorrow. And they clapped those funny little hands of theirs."

County observers say the incident was not that surprising since the sea lions had not been fed that day, but others aren't so sure. Three people accused someone of feeding fish to the trained sea lions in exchange for hitting the voting button with their flippers.

"It's outright fraud is what it is, using those poor sea lions like that," exclaimed Susan Perry, one of the eyewitnesses. "They must have voted about 100 times to get those fish."

State and County voting officials are investigating the allegations. They say they have not found any evidence of wrongdoing yet except for the strange odor of fish on some of the polling booths.

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