Turkeys across the country are voting today in what they are calling a "life or death" vote. Turkey leaders have called on every turkey in the country to go to polling places and vote for candidates who have shown a clear preference of eating tofurkey at Thanksgiving, the tofu substitute for turkey.
"It's not something that has gotten a lot of press coverage, but it's important to us," says Gus Saunders, a turkey from Manti, Utah. "We just want the right to live in peace in tiny cages. Is that really too much to ask?"
Holiday Tribune was unable to find any politicians willing to go on record for this story. Several did, however, give us campaign flyers with a coupon for a free turkey at Thanksgiving.