A campaign to get every voter in America to write in their own name for public office failed today when Sarah Duston of Brooklyn, New York voted for an actual politician. Considering she was one of the first votes of the day, the future did not look bright for the campaign.
"When it came down to it, I just didn't think I had the qualifications," explained Ms. Duston. "Plus, I ran an attack ad against myself, and it was pretty convincing."
"All we wanted to do was throw havoc into the election by voting 500 million Americans into public office," lamented Robert Ferguson, one of the leading organizers of the campaign. "Why is it people don't know a good idea when they see one?"
It is unknown whether anyone has written themselves in yet in the election, though reliable sources say they expect some people in Alaska to do so.