Thousands of documents released today on WikiLeaks confirm that there is indeed a Santa Claus. The documents, purported to be the top secret communications among North Pole Elves, paint a picture of a large, jolly man who is unhealthily obsessed with Christmas.
"This is big. This is bigger than big," exclaimed one woman, who asked to remain anonymous because she thinks Santa would put her on the naughty list if she confirms her identity.
WikiLeaks is not revealing how they obtained the documents. It is believed that a disgruntled elf who was tired of working on toys 365 days a year is the original source.
Top U.S. government officials had no official comment, but several of them were willing to state off the record that they hoped Santa Claus would indeed be coming to town this Christmas.