October 23, 2013

Congress Chooses Costumes for Halloween

In a bipartisan vote, Congress today decided to require members of both the House and the Senate to dress up as rational human beings this Halloween. The vote was not without its critics, however.

One Senator expressed concern that such costumes were too unrealistic. Another Senator decried the high costs of makeup required to pull off the costume. Over in the House, members advocated no costumes at all, laconically observing that going trick-or-treating as a member of Congress was far scarier than anything they could ever dream up.

In related votes, the Republicans in the House voted today to require means testing before handing out any trick-or-treat candy to children with poor costumes, and Democrats in the Senate voted for a candy tax on the children who earn the most candy.

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