December 9, 2013

Christmas Cancelled in Killarney

City officials in Killarney today announced that due to an unusual amount of Leprechaun activity, Christmas will be cancelled this year.

"There are so many leprechauns this year that everyone is out chasing rainbows and gold. There won't be any folks at home, so we felt that cancelling Christmas was best for everyone," said Seamus O'Callaghan, city event manager for Killarney. "Plus, Father John said he won't be able to bless any houses this year. He says he has the gout."

People across the world expressed disappointment. Pamela Freeman of Detroit, Michigan was particularly sad.

"I had hoped to cuddle under some mistletoe and kiss my beau while on vacation in Ireland, but I suppose now I'll have to settle for kissing the blarney stone."

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