August 28, 2014

Man Annoys Co-Workers By Singing Christmas Songs All Year

Co-workers of Mr. Colin Versey of San Francisco, California today filed a complaint with the state Labor Board claiming inhospitable working conditions due to "constant singing and humming of Christmas songs no matter the time of year."

Mr. Versey, they claim, starts singing Christmas songs as he walks into work and never stops until he walks out the door. Even then, they aren't sure he stops.

"It's incredibly annoying," griped Susan Wozniak, who works in the cubicle next to Mr. Versey. "He never stops. Even during meetings, he keeps humming under his breath. Have you ever tried to discuss your team's KPI's when someone is humming 'Santa Claus is Coming To Town'? It's not possible."

"I should have figured he'd be trouble when he came to the interview wearing an ugly Christmas sweater with blinking lights," said Harvey Dasani, Mr. Versey's boss. "It was the middle of summer, for goodness sake. I thought the way he answered all my questions using Christmas songs was a clever gimmick. How could I have known he'd never stop?" 

Mr. Versey says he was not aware he was singing the songs. "I'm just a jolly fellow who likes Christmas. I didn't even realize I was singing. I don't see what all the fuss is about though. I think 'Silver and Gold' goes great with a meeting about our latest financial analysis."

When asked why the company doesn't just fire their singing employee, Mr. Dasani said that Mr. Versey has claimed that "holiday cheer" is a protected status under California anti-discrimination laws. So out of an abundance of caution they were referring the matter to the Labor Board.

Although Mr. Versey's co-workers hope the Labor Board will allow Mr. Versey's company to fire him, most experts expect the Board to reject the complaint on the basis that they do not wish to be placed on the naughty list.

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