September 22, 2014

Country Singer Starts Trying To Think Of Something To Be Grateful For

There are still almost two months before Thanksgiving, but country singer Hank Gehry has already started trying to think of something to be grateful for this Thanksgiving.

Like many Americans, Mr. Gehry gets together with his family every year at Thanksgiving to give thanks and eat an absurd amount of food. At that dinner, he is expected to name something he is grateful for before the family starts eating the dinner. This year, however, Mr. Gehry expects to have a hard time finding something to say.

Earlier this year, Mr. Gehry signed a contract with a major country music label. Soon after he signed the contract, everything started to go downhill.

"I lost my dog, my house, my truck, my wife, my guitar, my stereo, my horse, my cow, my job, my best friends, my refrigerator, my laptop, my wallet, my camcorder, my oven, my lawnmower, and a whole bunch of other stuff," said Mr. Gehry. "I mean, I knew that it was a job hazard of being a country singer, but I didn't expect it to be so thorough. Now I have lots of possible song lyrics, but not much else. I guess the lyrics that have come out of this mess are something to be grateful for."

As he finished speaking, Mr. Gehry discovered that he had somehow misplaced and lost the lyrics and music to all his songs.

Shortly afterwards, Mr. Gehry called his mom to inform her he would not be attending Thanksgiving dinner until next year, when he hopes he will be able to think of something to say at the dinner. She told him not to worry too much about it, since she had lost his invitation for this year's dinner anyway.

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