A prominent group of dentists today advised parents across the world not to leave out plates of cookies for Santa, claiming the jolly old elf's teeth were likely full of cavities from all the sugar.
"The guy must consume hundreds of pounds of sugar every Christmas Eve," said Gregory Denton, a member of the group. "It can't be good for his teeth, to say nothing of the risk of diabetes. We just want him to take better care of his teeth by eating less sugary foods."
A spokeself at the North Pole responded by saying that Santa only eats cookies on Christmas Eve and has a very healthy diet for the rest of the year, consisting primarily of "candy canes, hot chocolate, bowls full of jelly, and copious amounts of nutella."
Calls to Santa's dentist were not returned and a sign on the office window advised that the dentist was out on a candy break.